i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
