just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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