Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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