At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
