Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
