Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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