so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
