Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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