I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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