Betty ford says i'm here all night
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
