How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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