Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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