You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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