She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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