He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
