these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
