I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
