Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
