he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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