I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
