What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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