the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
