Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
