my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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