its not stalking. its research.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
