i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
