i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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