I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She said her name was "party"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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