She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
