if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The air was thick with penises
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I could fuck to npr.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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