She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
