Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
