Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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