I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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