We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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