fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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