Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
