Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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