Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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