I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize