great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize