That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I party with great urgency now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
