I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
