Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
