Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
