I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
