$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
