i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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