I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
