Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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