"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
