If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
