I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
