Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
they need to just BURY HIM!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
