Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
