so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
