One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
