He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
