hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
