mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
