Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize