I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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