He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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