Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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