I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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