I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize